Sad day

So this morning a family member passed away. I just found out that she was ill last night and it is a little tough to take. I wish I could have said goodbye, but at least her children and sister were there. She will be greatly missed, she was so funny. Rest in peace Aunt Judy.

That time of year

So it is getting to that time of year where the semester is winding down and the days go by faster and faster. I just want the semester to be over and most of all I want to go home. I am tired of being down here alone and so far from my family. Most college students want to get as far away from home as possible, but I love my family so much and I want to spend as much time as I can with them. My grandma has been getting down lately, especially because it is almost one year since my grandpa passed away. I hardly ever get to talk to her and if she died while I was away, I would be devastated.
I also just don't want to work for a while, too bad I can't afford that! I am just so fed up with not getting paid what I am worth and being forced to put so much time into it. It is affecting me, and not in a good way!! I need a dang life! HELP.

Ah fun

Wait... fun? What is that? I don't know anymore, all I do is work! Yes, the money is nice and also needed, but damn, I have NO life!!!! It is driving me nuts! I can't hang out with anyone, ever! And when I make plans, something happens like a jackass calling in right before his shift and asking me to figure it all out for him, screwing me and my plans over. Very frustrating, not to mention a shitty thing to do to your coworkers. It really sucks because I REALLY wanted to go out with my friends tonight, and I was hoping for things to happen the way I thought they would, but no, I ended up at work, covering for the same person, again. Why don't things work out like we plan or dream they would? Why does life have to get in the way? Int he past few weeks, I have just been so irritated by people at work, my roommates, school.... ugh. I just need some time to get away! I also am starting to feel worn out and somewhat lonely because I have no social life... definitely frustrating. I guess I will have to get over it... doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. Oh well, I have to get to bed now, I am pooped!

Late nights!

So it seems as though I end up staying awake later and later every night. It is so frustrating because I want my normal sleep pattern back! Damn this! Is it too much to ask for to be able to go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 7? I guess so, because I am going to be around three and getting up at 730. Not the best, then when I have to close for work, I don't get to sleep until like 530-6. IT SUCKS. Oh well, I am assistant manager now and I have a little more money coming to me. Not much, but it is better than less. Bills just never stop coming, even more frustrating. I am just really pleased with how I am personally reacting to everything. I would typically be super-stressed right now and be moody and mostly in an unhappy but not cranky mood. I have gotten really tired of being single, but I am content. If anything is meant to happen, it will. I am not about to push myself into uncomfortable or unusual situations just to be un-single. I find my self being quite happy and enjoying life. I guess it is because there is also so much good happening with the tough stuff. I got my volunteer position at Columbia St. Mary's, my job is going well, with hours pretty much guaranteed now, my classes are going well with the exception of one which is rough goings but I am getting help. I am making a few great friends and building other relationships to an even better level. I guess I have really been blessed lately and I should not complain about the very few negative things happening and remember that they are happening for a reason.
I cannot wait to see my family, I am so excited! I also can't wait for Christmas. I have my lights up and am just waiting for the music to be on the radio. I LOVE Christmas music. It is so cheerful and it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside! Ah yes, I am also ready for snow, but seeing as how it is still in the 50's, that is not going to happen anytime soon. I guess so long as there is snow on Christmas and my birthday I am happy. Woo, two months til my birthday and I plan to really celebrate. Not only for me but my sister too since her b-day is the day after mine. Also to celebrate and remember my grandpa. It is almost a year, and that week is going to be tough for everyone, especially my grandma and my dad.
Ah yes, well I have to find something that will keep me awake now until my sis comes to get me. I have much to do tomorrow, I have to find a scrub top, make myself look like the living dead doc haha and sleep! Oh and I guess I could do some homework too... PEACE!

For Starters....

So here I sit in the Chemistry Building computer lab, putting off the work I need to do and the list of crap that awaits... Ugh. Ever since Organic chemistry, I don't care about it anymore. It is just not fun, except lab. I LOVE lab. Ah whatever. I need to start my research for my research. Sounds like a blast. I guess I am just worn thin and I don't know where things are leading and if they are even going to go where I planned. I just don't want to disappoint my dad. He is so much more excited about my future than I am and I feel like if things don't go in that specific way, he will be more upset than me!

On to better things...
This weekend is going to be interesting. I got 4.5 hours of sleep last night, have class until 1, plan to take a short nap, work 630-3 tonight, being picked up at 7am tomorrow so I won't sleep tonight. Working all day tomorrow at my mom's work, helping with kid stuff. Have to figure out how to finish my costume and make it semi-scary. Not going to work though, I am not creative enough, especially with little sleep. Damn backordered crap! I can't wait to see my family this weekend. It has been two months and yes, unlike most college kids, I like my family and want to be with them! Sunday is my dad's birthday and next friday is my mom's... time flies... they are getting old, lol. Not really though, they are younger than pretty much everyone my age's parents are. I am the youngest in my family (21) and my parents are both turning 43. So that is not really old at all... My dad acts like he is 80 some days, but I love him, it's just how he is~ my mom acts like she is 30 or something. Sometimes I don't love how they act or choices they make, just because it is annoying or just plain stupid, but whatever. They will use that line about how they know more cuz they have lived longer, but then why are you being that way? But anyway, enough about that, I promise the next one will be better!