What a Wednesday

Nothing like plastering a smile onto your face when you feel like screaming!  That is what I have to do in therapy.  Push through the pain and go, go, go!  I think I am making good progress, but there is still so much work ahead of me.  I am feeling very overwhelmed by it today.  I think about the progress I have made and I am pleased.  I feel good about it.  Then I think of what I have yet to accomplish, and it scares me!  Just the thought of riding a bike makes me want to crawl under a rock!!!  What a crazy concept.  It is so wild to me that I can think to myself, "lift right foot" and I can't do it.  I can try so hard to do it, and I can feel my muscles contracting and I still can't do it.  Not having the ability to control my muscles is not only a new experience, but it is quite unpleasant!  Let me tell you, I will never take any of my normal, every day actions for granted again.

In other news, I am feeling relatively happy.  Given the things that have recently come to my attention, I think I am doing a great job handling it.  I don't know what is true or not anymore and my level of trust for people has decreased significantly.  This saddens me, but all I can do is move past it.

I am going to go shopping in the next week or so and look for something that I can hang on the balcony to plant some flowers.  I need to spice up the porch.  It has been plain, empty and boring for over a year.  Time to change it up!!!  Plus, looking out the door and seeing beautiful flowers can't help but cheer a person up!  :-)

Well, my lunch time is just about over, so I had better finish this up!  If anyone has any good ideas or tips for hanging flower baskets, please share!!!

Oh boy

I really wish I could have taken another week off of work.  I underestimated the stress I would put on my knee driving and walking around at work.  While I am trying my best to limit my activity, it is inevitable that I have to get up and stand at my lab bench.  It also does not help that I can't elevate my knee, at least not in a comfortable position.  This means that it is a constant ache, and it is really not pleasant.  I can hardly wait to go home and elevate my leg and sit with a huge bag of peas.  I have never looked forward to sitting on the couch so much!  This is going to make for a long week, that is certain!

In other news, I had my follow up appointment from my surgery this morning.  The doctor said everything is looking good and just working on my range of motion is important right now.  I am motivated to keep improving my range of motion, even though some of the exercises hurt so bad.  It is so imperative that I not get lazy about it.  Also, I am glad to be able to drive again, but I have to limit myself.  I can drive, up to a point.  Once I hit that limit it gets painful and uncomfortable.  Once I start feeling pain, it is tough to get rid of it.  It lingers around and makes me feel pretty crummy.

I can't wait to be able to go home again.  I look forward to the next five or six weeks being over with!  I will finally be feeling better, won't have to wear a brace and can walk normally.  Once three months pass, I can start riding a bike again get in the habit of working out and going for walks.  I can't wait to be all better and go to baseball games, have fun on the weekends and see my friends again!

Update..

The surgery went well and the knee is making progress every day.  It certainly is not easy.  In working to get my flexion back it can get quite painful!  There is still swelling so it gets really tight when bending my leg, but it is something that I have to do!  Except for that, it is doing really well.  I don't have to use crutches to get around the apartment, which is nice.

I am getting so darn bored though, just hanging around the apartment.  I wish I could get out and be productive.  I wouldn't mind being back at work.  I have so much stuff to take care of!  I am hoping that by Sunday I will be able to get in and out of my car and be able to drive.  That way I won't have to rely on other people and disrupt their schedules to get to my appointments.

Well I am even getting bored writing this!  Gah I just don't know what to do with my time!!!  I cannot wait for the next couple of months to go by.  I want my knee to be healed and be back as close to normal as possible!

Back to the grind...

...but only for a few days.  I work three days this week, but one of those days includes a presentation on the course I attended.  That should go just fine, I hope! :-)

This past weekend was great.  It was quality time spent with my family.  It will be a while before I see some of them again.  I won't be travelling that far after my surgery.  I don't know how mobile I will be.  I have been having alot of anxiety lately.  There are so many things causing stress right now and that is definitely not what I need.  At least the stress does not include worrying about my job.  For that I am very thankful!

I cannot wait for Thursday to come and go.  I am ready to start healing and feeling better! :-)

Have a great week!